Shelley got into her car, started it, and pulled away the curb. She leaned over and turned on the radio. The sound of music had always helped her relax and think. She drove down to the corner and made a right turn onto 7 Mile.
A few moments later she pulled into a quiet little bistro called "Mama's Place" and parked. She took her keys from the ignition and got out. Shelley walked in the door and sat down at an empty table before a server walked up. She placed an order for a soft drink and pulled out a five-dollar bill and her cell phone. Shelly laid her money on the table.
She stared at her phone screen and shook her head back and forth. The urge to call Ed had faded. When they first met, she thought it was something special about him. She had nearly fucked him without protection, on the first night.
The server brought her Coke, straw, and napkin and placed it on the table. Shelley nodded and then pushed her money forward. The server did not say anything as she picked it up and walked away. Shelley sighed loudly.
"What's your beef with love?" echoed in her mind.
She picked up her drink, slipped the straw in, and took a sip. She looked out of the restaurant window. The question had an impact on her actions. Shelley saw a couple pull up; the driver jumped out and opened the door for a woman. She stepped out and waited while her companion to closed the door to escort her in. Shelley sat her glass back down.
"I do not have a beef with love, or do I? On the one hand, I was not there to look for love. I went for information and a little time away from the house. On the other, I totally cut Blake off, and my hormones are about to be out of control. Still, I never had any intention to allow Blake or anyone else the space in my heart that it takes for a real relationship to grow. Does that mean I have a beef with love, or I know that I am unwilling to commit though?" She thought.
Her cell phone vibrated, and she flinched. Shelley looked down at the face of the phone and pursed her lips. It was Ed and Shelley decided not to answer. She let the call roll over to voicemail.
A cool gust of air blew over her arms as the restaurant door opened. Shelley looked up and saw three people had walked inside. The couple from the lot went to the counter. The third person sat at the table across from her.
She glanced over and then quickly looked away. She wanted to make a decision about Ed, rather than put it off any longer. Nervously, she chewed at her lip. Before long, she began to twiddle her fingers rhythmically on the tabletop.
"Nice, another cute girl left waiting for some asshole that is not going to do right by her, and I can't get a date?" The person across from her said.
Shelley looked over at the person, shrugged, and then turned her head away again.
"Tell me, what is it that makes you go for a jerk that lies and will break your heart over someone nice like me, please?" The person said.
"The same reason that wolves wear sheep's clothing and serial killers do not start new conversation with how many have already died at their hands. People see and hear what they want to rather than rely on the truth. You did not ask me if I was waiting on someone, you assumed. I am avoiding someone right now because I am unsure of his true intentions. It 's hard to know if his mouth and his actions are ever going to be the same. People usually try to show the most appealing side of them, and then the jerk comes out." Shelley replied.
"Oh, my bad. Isn't it a little late for you to be out alone when you have someone waiting to be with you?" The stranger quipped.
Shelley huffed and rolled her eyes. She started to count backward from five before she formed her words. She felt her face flush when she finished. Shelley clasped her hands together and turned in her seat towards the stranger.
"I do not know you. You do not know me. You say that you are a nice person, yet you are all in my business. Thanks for the compliment but your come on is weak. First, somebody has done me wrong, and now I am wrong. All of this you have decided without a bit of information, which is what I just said to you. I am attempting to use logic to solve a problem through critical thinking. Might I suggest that you do the same? Since my life is clearly not the reason that you can not get a date." Shelley said.
"Oh dang, you just cut right off into me. I did not mean any harm. I made a mistake in how I chose to strike up a conversation with you. Do you mind if I come and sit with you and start over?" The person asked.
"Did you just admit that you made a mistake?"
"Listen, My name is Shelley, and I apologize for my rudeness. What's your name?"
"Hello Shelley, my name is Cody; it is a pleasure to meet you."
"Hi Cody, would you like join me for a refreshing soft drink?"
Cody laughed, stood up, and extended a hand. Shelley reached out and firmly shook it. She gave a half-hearted smile when Cody sat in the seat directly in front of her. Shelley turned her head back towards the window and peered out into the semi-darkness of the street.
"Do you come here often?" Cody asked.
"Not really, I just had a strange weekend that ended differently than I had imagined," Shelley said.
"Do you want to talk about it? I am a decent listener. I don't always say dumb stuff. I just get a little nervous around women that I think I would like. Sometimes, even a little tongue tied."
"Not much to tell. I thought he was cute. I went home and fantasized about screwing his brains out. When I had the chance to do it, I was pissed at the reality that he was not what I had imagined him to be. We did way too much, but not everything. Then he calls me out on being afraid to fall in love when I pushed him away, which might be true."
"So your plan for this guy was just sex?"
"Basically. That was before he called me a few bitches in the heat of the moment and then started blowing up my phone. Then finally, he told me off and asked if I have some beef with love, which scared the hell out of me. I had no intention of him staying for breakfast let alone dealing with emotions and stuff.My fantasy had nothing to do with wedding bells,picking out curtains for our new home, or what to name our kids. They were raunchy, naughty, slightly sweaty, toe-curling, moments of unrestrained passion between consenting adults."
"Take me to your leader; please ma'am."
"Your leader, the one that taught you that it was alright to realize that there is a difference between sex and love. That one does not necessarily have anything to do with the other, and you are not in love with someone because you had good sex together. Where is she? Are there others of your kind?"
Shelley laughed hard. She felt tears well up in her eyes and wiped them away. Shelley was amused with his implied conclusion. She put her head down until her giggles subsided.
When she looked back up at Cody, she smiled. Cody's face was bright and blushed. Shelley snickered a few more times before she cleared her throat. She covered her mouth with her hand.
"I suppose that there are others like me. I am I sure that I am my leader, though. I don't have a beef with love, if it happens it does. I just don't see why I need to feel anything except pleasure when it comes to sex. Why the need to deny myself while I hunt for love everlasting, whatever that is. What if I don't ever meet the right person, am I supposed to die a virgin for someone else's idea of the noble thing, even though those beliefs are not mine? Do I croak as an old miserable biddy with hangups that are not my own. Bitter at life and using drama to fill the empty void? Besides, I would not stay with anyone that was horrible in bed. Some people would find other things more important, but physical pleasure is high on my list of must-haves.I rather self-access the situation in every sense of the word, than to go out like that, seriously."
"Let me see if I understand what you said. You feel like it is alright to have sex for the sake of pleasure without a commitment?" Cody asked.
"I think protection from diseases and unwanted pregnancies should in place, but I do not believe that sex has to be emotional. I feel that it messes it up to require that one consider something other than arousal level, which is an honest response to wanting sex."
Cody's mouth opened to respond when Shelley's cell phone vibrated again. She put one finger up to Cody while she picked up her phone. Shelley looked at the screen and sighed. Cody waited.
"Damn, it's him again, I just wanted good sex, why complicate shit?" Shelley whispered.
© Inakat 2016