Shelley smiled and picked up the toothpaste and began to squeeze the tube. She lifted her other hand towards her face. Shelly looked down to aim the paste and burst into a soft giggle. She still held the vibrator in her hand.
"This is probably not an ideal way to brush my teeth huh? Too bad this is not coffee flavored then it might have been fun to try it at least." Shelley snickered to her.
She laid the device on the edge of the sink and turned the spigot to warm. The whoosh of the water brought a welcomed sense of focus for her. She took her toothbrush from its holder, put the paste on, and brushed her teeth. When she finished, Shelley returned her items to their proper places.
Shelley washed and moisturized her face. She saw her fluffy peach colored robe that hung on the back of the bath door. She grabbed it and wrapped it around her. Shelley turned to leave the bathroom and gasped. She remembered that she had forgotten to wash her plaything and put it away. She quickly did so and then made her way to the kitchen for coffee.
It took only a few moments to make a cup of fresh hot coffee. Once she had poured a cup, she took it to her bedroom with her. Shelley sat the cup down on her computer desk and flopped down in the chair. She swung her feet and contemplated on what to do first for the day. Shelley picked up her cup and began to sip from it.
"Okay, no more Mr. Coffee for just a little while. You have things to do so get going!" Shelley scolded herself.
She pulled down her organizer and began to write out her to do list and put numbers by them in order of importance. Soon she had narrowed the list down to critical priorities. She put little faces next to each thing that matched how she felt about the task. She stood up, stretched, and went to kneel on the side of her bed. Her priority was to make the most important call of the day, for her.
"Hey, it is me again. I just wanted to say thank you for all that you do for me. Looking after them precious little monsters that I birthed and the rest of the family and friends, always making a way out of no way for me, and loving and forgiving me when even I find it hard to do. I know that I have asked a thousand times am I meant to be a mate and could you send the right one my way. Well today, I realized that maybe I asked the question wrong. There are many ways about myself I like and some things I think need to change. Today, I was wondering if you could help me cultivate myself so that I can be ready when that happens. However, it turns out, thank you in advance. It is getting somewhat weary being a single woman. I think I have been at this too long. Those kids have grown up, and they do not need me as much. I spend all my time focused on my job, the house, and other things that are nice to have, but I would rather share my life with the same species. The dog has resorted to licking his paws when I come in from work and giving the "will you please shut up and feed me face". You have already given more than what I probably deserve, but if you see fit to let allow me to be the light of someone's day, I think I would like that. I am sure that you will let me know in your way how you feel about my request. Oh, and before I forget, you made me, so you know all about me, most likely, before the day is over, I am going to do a bunch of stuff that is wrong, so please continue to forgive me. The people that journeyed with you were regular people like me, so I still have faith that anything possible. Although you are much better than I could hope to be, we both knew that I would have come back and punched Judas in throat quicker than lightening. In any case, I digress, the point is thanks bunches for everything, and I love you too."
Shelley got up and smiled. Her mother had taught her to show gratitude for her life. She had not forgotten the proper words, but Shelley was not one for a ritual. She would be the first to acknowledge that she was terrible at "modern politics and showboating." She was more comfortable just to keep her prayers simple, without the fanfare.
She realized that it was early, and the streets were still quiet. Soon traffic would be zipping past, the phone calls would start, and the worries of the day would begin to pile on. She was ready for whatever came her way now. That quiet talk in private always seemed to give her the strength to face anything. The words changed based on what her issues were, but she had long ago learned that when she confronted the day, that her first order of business should be in line, and that business was gratitude for the life that she already had.
Shelley walked over to her desk and looked at the list. Laundry was next on the list. It had a smiley face on it. She gathered her used clothes from around her room and carted them to the hamper. Shelley stopped in the kitchen on her way to the laundry room and turned on the radio.
Joe Budden's "Another Used To Be" crooned soulfully through the speakers. Shelley tilted her head and pursed her lips. She turned up the volume and opened the door to the laundry room. Shelley found her humming the words while she loaded the wash. After she had closed the lid of the washer, she went back to her room to see what was next on the list. The music made her chores seem like a breeze to her.
Shelley quickly worked her way through the list until lunchtime. She grabbed her plate from the fridge that she had not eaten the day before and took it to her desk. She had begun to write, and the process meant that she needed to spend time on it every day that she could. The writing was not new to her. She had spent countless hours as a teen and through most of her life on it.
She had volumes of things that she had written over the years from her daily life, to stories and poetry. Sometimes, she just went back and read them. In them, she found some of her the memories of some of her greatest joys like the birth of her children. She also found days on end where she had written about the pain and heartache of a relationship not meant to happen. It was difficult to relive those moments, but she was glad that she had written them down.
In those journals, she found a common theme. That theme was the desire to leave the relationship that she had been in for too long. Over and again, Shelley listed the headache of daily struggles to stay with someone that she did not like as a person. In the first half of them, she blamed her mate for not understanding and appreciating her worth. In the end, Shelley confronted the only person that had kept in that situation, and that was herself. Shelly took a little time to decide that she was the person that decided what she was worth and moved on.
She had also taken notes on her relationship with Blake. It was evident from her writings about Blake, that although he wanted something with her, Shelley never expressed that same want about him. She took that as a lesson learned and for quite some time, she had been distant. Their physical relationship had fizzled out to nothing. Shelley knew that intimacy was important to her, even critical on her list of must-haves. Nevertheless, so was trust and she did not believe Blake in the ways that would allow them to go deeper into each other.
Shelley leaned on her desk and rested her face in her palm. Slowly but surely, Mr. Coffee made his way into her thoughts. She wondered what he did for fun, what his hopes and dreams were, where was he from, and did he have a wife among other things. The realness of her questions disturbed her. It suddenly made Mr. Coffee a person and not a ghost made of fantasy.
"You have fantasized, romanticized, and mentally had your way with this person. What would you do if you took him from your wicked world of daydreams and passion filled nights and saw him as a real person? "Shelley inquired aloud.
Shelley shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. She did not know. Shelly knew how to find out. She decided that she would do her and cross that bridge when she came to it. She could feel in the core of her soul that she had not seen the last of Mr. Coffee. She was a woman of action and eventually she would see to it, even if she had to arrange it herself.
"Oh wow, I hope it is a day that I am wearing panties." Shelley moaned.
© Inakat 2016