Shelley looked around the bedroom and sighed. She had made plans to go a party with friends. Now, she wanted to stay home alone. The solitude of her room would give her the luxury of another chance to enjoy him.
Since she could remember, she had always been a strong person. The thought of someone having an unintended effect on her libido was frightening. As always, she knew that she would not rest until she confronted it. Shelley did not know when, where, or how but she knew that fear had no permanent home in her life.
On a spur of the moment, still quaking from the shower episode, she returned to her desk. She had decided the best way to deal with him was just ask him to take down the picture and be done with it. She sat down, logged in, and found the profile. Hastily, she typed a note that she felt explained that while she appreciated the acknowledgements, she did not want that particular picture put up.
After she sent the message, she felt more relaxed. Then a thought that she had not entertained entered her mind, "That is awfully petty isn't it?" She admitted to her that indeed it was shallow and vain. However, she had yet to determine whether it was the actually the picture itself or that knowledge that it confirmed that it was not her imagination gone wild again. That somehow she was correct that she did have an impact on him and that his eyes had landed on her.
Shelley stood up; she removed the towel and laid it on the chair. She bent over, clutched the end of her desk, and peered under it. She searched for something to slip on her naked feet, before she went to find food. The only pair of shoes that were out was sexy black, open back, three-inch heels. She put them on.
Now, food was only a matter of a phone call or a trip to the kitchen. She opted to try the kitchen first. In short order found a suitable snack of fresh veggies and cheese cubes. On a whim, she decided to slice up an apple and put it on the plate with everything else. Shelley took her food and went back to the living room.
She had barely sat on the couch when she heard her computer chirp. She rolled her eyes and huffed. She rose back up and sashayed into her room. She realized her fingers were trembling when she touch the computer. Much to her relief, she saw a simple return note that agreed to take the picture down.
Before she could go further than a few words of gratitude, her cell phone rang. Shelley rested her head on her forearm for moment and then got up to answer it. She looked down at her phone screen and shook her head. It was her ex Blake and she answered.
"Hello" Shelley said.
"Hey, what you doing? I'm by your house. I want to come through if that's cool with you." Blake said.
"I just showered, grabbed a bite to eat, and I have a ton of things to do. I don't really feel like it. Maybe some other time?"
"Shit, I'm hungry too. Since when do you turn me down. I ain't trying to fuck. Just let me swoop through and lick that pussy for you. I love that noise you make when you get off. I'll be there in a few, do you need anything?"
"Yeah, I need for you to listen. I said no."
"Seriously, what you got a man now? Who are you saving that for? I know you well enough to know that you love to get that pretty body kissed and caressed."
Shelley let out a long sigh and ran her hand through her hair. Her connection to Blake should have ended a long time ago. Although it had been mutually beneficial, something had changed after seeing Mr. Unknown Coffee. Blake had been willing to give her physical fun and accepted her no strings attached condition.
Shelley had broken up with Blake because she could not tolerate the childishness that came with him. The sex was less than spectacular but sufficient, at the time. Their relation lacked chemistry and it had fizzled out just as quickly as it had started. Blake wanted her and she wanted a list of qualities that he did not have.
While Shelley knew that she would never accept a piss-poor lover, she wanted other things in a longtime partner. Passion was high on her list but so was ambition. She could never see herself committed to anyone that did not have depth and dimensions.
The ability to be both an amazing lover and equally ideal friend was not optional.
In exchange Shelley could offer all that she was and capable of becoming as well. She accepted that she was a piece of someone's puzzle. Shelley was realistic; she did not want a perfect mate. She had not bothered to go on some lengthy quest to find the other half to her.
She believed that her instinct or something would make that person clear and available. That somehow the other person would just fit into her life and vice-versa. One of the most important things to her was the room for growth together. A perfect person had no room to grow as they thought of themselves a complete thing. Shelley was a student of life in her heart and even in her passions; she knew that much about herself.
True happiness for her lay in the heart of someone that dared to be different, had self-love, and was forever on a journey to enjoy and experience new things. At the same time, like her, her other half would have the ability to accept and learn from mistakes and improve. At least that was the theory that she operated on.
A bright light came on in Shelley's head. She forgot that she was still on the phone.
"That's what I saw in his eyes! Hope, the willingness to be him and the ability to grow into whatever he is destined to be. It was a fear and tiredness of possibly going that journey alone forever. There was an absolute loneliness that others did not know, could never know, unless they were on a similar path. His eyes said love me both as what I am and as what I could be. Respect that I am not man made, but most assuredly a made man. " Shelley said.
"Well, I bet he can't do what I do for you. You're a clown if think that leaving me alone for some uppity punk is good." Blake yelled.
"What? Blake, I left you a long time ago. How quickly you forget that I did not want you. I never lied or led you on. It is over. I won't apologize; we both knew this day was coming." Shelley replied.
"So, just like that huh? Let me come get that one more time sweetheart. Okay, he fucking you just let me show that I can make you feel better than he can."
"No Blake, at the risk of repeating myself I'm done with this shit. It's not going anywhere and never was. For your information, he has never touched me, well he did, but not in a sense that you could relate to. In fact, I do not owe you an explanation other than my situation has changed and it's over between us."
"Alright, fine. Nevertheless, when you find that he is not what you want, call me. I doubt one person can handle you. Let me know when I'm back on the schedule because your "new man" is lacking."
"Don't wait by the phone Blake. I doubt he is the type to share his woman and honestly at the rate he's gotten me off today, I seriously doubt he would have any difficulty "handling" me in person. "
"Just like that for a person that you have not had. I do not you believe you. It is not like you at all. It must be nice for him. He got a sexy, insatiable little spitfire on paws, just waiting on him. When you figure out what his swindle is, you will be back. Just tell me what the deal is and I will change for you. I know I've been holding back with you, but I can dick you down until you pass out. I know mine is bigger than his."
"There is none so deaf as the person that refuses to hear. Let me make this as plain as I can then. Since I left his presence, I cannot stop thinking about him. I have known you forever it seems, and if you are going to go there, then let's keep it real. I haven't gotten to that part yet but eventually I will. He's not the "fuck you" type. He's more like passionate love making that never ends. He is so different that I don't believe it is even possible to fake this. He has without a doubt gotten me to levels I have never reached with you three times today without actually ever touching me. I don't know how big you think your dick is, but he's been making love to me all day from across town. You have to be in the same room bare minimum okay? You cannot compete. This is not physical; it is something that we never had."
"What is that, Shelley? Please tell me."
"It's spiritual. It's the beginning of that kind of relationship that you pray for. A cosmic connection succeeds time and space. It is the kind of thing that you don't have to change for because just having it in your life changes you. It is kind, supportive; it is forgiving, and made to endure all things. It is… it is…"
Shelley could not finish her sentence. The insight made her feel as though she were standing on the tracks with the bright light of a train coming towards her unable to move. The nervousness from earlier returned to an unusual extent. She smiled and a single tear rolled down her cheek. It was alone and as delicate and precious as a one single rose in bloom.
"Do you love him Shelley? You are talking as if you love him." Blake said.
"Just as he is and for all that he might ever be to me…" Shelley answered.
© Inakat 2016
#justhewayyou #growwithme #multi-dimensional #Cusoon #babybackhome